Confidence. You have to be confident. Whether you are a guy or a girl, confident = sexy. You got me right. If you look it, you are it. It’s all about your attitude. This sounds like crap motivational book material, but it’s not. Look at it this way.
You see a person that is not amazingly good looking, but he/she is really confident. Not smug, not cocky not boasting, but you can feel that they are confident. They are just HOT. Why? Because confident people are successful. It is a bit of a circular argument (since being successful makes you confident), but the cool thing is that unlike looks this is something easy to control. Find someone who is confident and learn from them. Or just act it, it will catch up with you.
Imagine two identical twins: just as smart, physically identical. One of them is confident and asks you out, the other one sits in the corner counting his toes. Which one will you accept for a date? Well the one that asks obviously, how could you accept the other one since he never asked? Yeah, sure, maternal instincts in some girls might drive them towards the introvert, and that is good, but it’s a small percentage. By the way, there’s a difference between introvert and mysterious, we’ll talk about that some other time.
And really, being rejected sucks, but suck it up and get over it. It does not matter. Keep asking, one will say yes. You will perfect your technique. You will find out why the others said no (maybe bad breath had something to do with it and some mean/kind soul will tell you about this issue). Think about it. What have you got to lose? Image? Whatever, as soon as you get a hot girl/guy everyone will forget.
Smarts are also important. A friend of mine once said: ” There is nothing sexier than a hot guy.” It applies to girls as well, btw. How do you get smart? Well, read. Hang around smart and cheerful people. It’s bound to rub onto you. Smarts is only in small part nature, a lot of it is nurture. Nurture yourself to be smart. Yet another circular argument (since you gotta have some smarts to read this and know how to follow it), but you’re smart, you can figure it out. Oh, and BTW, believe it. Do not be cocky, smug or defiant. Just feel that you are smart and people will perceive that. They want to treat you to the image you project. And don’t just show it off, start reading as well. The credit people give you for acting smart is a short-term loan.
Why would someone be interested in a smart person? I don’t really need to answer this question, but it is good to reinforce the idea: Smart people make money. Smart people are fun to be with. Smart people can be introduced to friends. Smart people are not boring. Since they will make money, they are to be desired (yes not making any money is strange unless you are doing great voluntary work which is awesome). Smart people that do not make money do great things, like cure diseases around the world. Or they are idle and make great art (and little money).
Side story, from “Overheard in NY”: “Girl1: -He is not so great in bed, but that’s OK Girl2: -You mean he is rich? Girl1:-Exactly”
Whatever? Simply have a backup plan. Never not have one. If I am in love with this chick, like really in love, and I hang out with her and make some stupid remark or whatever (and I do make those from time to time), then I don’t care that much. Yeah I wish you would be my next girlfriend but really, if it does not work out, it’s OK, there is someone else there. There is always someone else, but if they are within reach it helps. Yes do get involved and lose (or at lease loosen) the backup with time, and do commit if you want to. But at least in the beginning, you must be able to relax. It’s not blackmail, it’s just a psychological release: the more you like someone the more stressed you will be with them or about the situation, and the more you need to have some backup. It’s not that you really will leave the one you love for the backup (not necessarily). You just need to know that it’s not a big deal if you fuck up something. Because you will fuck up, and when you do that, since you know it is not a big deal, you will laugh it away and it will all be good for both of you. No big deal. That’s the power of whatever.
Tags: backup, confidence, love, marketing, relationships, sexy, smart, whatever
